Maybe I'll stick with the academic jobs for now

"How much do you think hitmen charge?"

"I think it depends on the context. If you are in a gang, you probably only get a couple of hundred dollars. If you are a professional hired to kill a politician, maybe a few hundred thousand. Why, are you thinking of hiring one?"

"No, I was wondering if I could be one."

"Well, how much would you charge?"

"If it were someone I actually liked or respected, no amount of money would get me to kill them. If it were someone I didn't feel strongly about either way, maybe I'd do it for a few million. For someone who I thought deserved to die, I might give a discount."

"You scare me."

"But if you're right, and people can hire a hitman for a few hundred dollars, I'd never be likely to get a hitman job at the prices I'd charge, so that's almost the same as having morals, right?"

"Uh, no."