Monday, May 12, 2008

Random bullets of women exist only to incubate your spawn

If there is a men's cabin and a women's cabin at a workshop/retreat, how come the couple plus (male) three-month-old baby automatically go in the women's cabin?

If a young childless/free woman mentions that she was kept awake by a crying baby, the response, "Oh well, that's good practice for later!" is just SO not appropriate. Especially if you are one of the older male academics who got to have the baby-free cabin and a good night's sleep.

Geekman once asked my mother why she cared so much about whether and when we had children. After searching a bit for an answer she finally came up with, "Because it's normal. It's what normal people do. I want you to be normal."

It's nice to know that my mother has such high ambitions for us. I think I'm probably a disappointment: normality not being high on my priority list.

Speaking of my mother, she sent me a really spectacularly sweet email on Sunday. Admittedly it started off by reminding me it was Mother's Day and I hadn't sent her anything (but damn, since she's now forgotten my birthday two years running, I thought I'd get a free pass). But then the email went into reminiscences of how excited she was when I was born and when they first brought me home and what a lovely baby I was. I feel vaguely guilty for how suspicious I am about what could possibly have motivated this.

Here is a picture of a totally unrelated garden shed:

10 Comments:

Whitney said...

screw breeding to any fertile end.

making more humans is right up there with strip-mining the mountains, logging the rainforest, and dumping raw sewage into the ocean. i'm pretty much a fascist on this count.

don't get me wrong. kids are great once they're here. i just think it takes a special kind of crazy/selfish/stupid to want to produce them.

rock on with your chosen child-free-ness. there are better ways to perpetuate oneself.

Anastasia said...

a three month old? in a cabin? Kill me now. I really don't need the practice.

Katherine said...

Gosh! I thought the photo was the female cabin...

I'm also a dissapointment to my mother. A: I don't have/want kids, and B: I don't live close enought to take her shopping and cook her meals. She's not even 60 and she acts like an 80 year old.

Seeking Solace said...

I hate those kind of comments. And the wanting grandkids thing is the worst.

For a split second, I thought your mom was giving you that shed!

Bardiac said...

My mother finally gave up on hoping I'd have kids... only after my brother did his job, and provided a son, first. Because it's all about the patriarchy. Gah.

CAE said...

Conversation between my Dad and my sister, reported to me by my indignant sister:

Dad: when are you going to hurry up and produce some grandchildren for me?
Sister: Dad! I don't even have a boyfriend!
Dad: well don't let that stop you.
Sister: oh yeah, you'd love that. Why don't you go and bother CAE? She's married and everything!!
Dad: I don't want Canadian grandchildren.

I seem to have escaped that conversation so far...

liina said...

I could have written any of those comments about 5 years ago. Things change. I have a child. He has added the craziest, coolest dimension to our lives.

StyleyGeek said...

Liina - I don't disbelieve people who say that kids are awesome. I also don't rule out having them myself. But I still think the situation I described in this post and the comment by the prof were way out of line.

I think maybe whitney misinterpreted the post as more militant than I intended it, but I totally get where the other commentators are coming from, and I don't think their comments are incompatible with liking kids or admiring people who have them.

liina said...

I agree that the prof's comment was uncool... I get harrassed about nr 2s and 3s etc. now that nr 1 is out of the way. Some people just don't think before they open their mouth...

Laurie said...

This was killing me on Mother's Day. I am all for Mother's Day and love all the mothers I know and think they more than deserve a day. HOWEVER I am sick of people on that day asking me if I have kids, and then when I say I don't, saying "Happy future Mother's Day!" Just cause I am a woman they assume I will be popping out the babies.