Why taxpayers love universities. No, really.

I'm a member of a teaching development group on campus which recently got a small grant to employ some administrative assistance. We haven't used any of the money yet.

Yesterday at our meeting one of the members brought in a huge new handbook the university had printed. "It's full of really important teaching-related stuff," he said. "Case studies, policies, and all sorts of things." We suggested he tell us a bit about it, but he admitted he hadn't read it.

We sat and looked glumly at the 300+ pages, each reluctant to volunteer to wade through it all.

And then... And THEN! We came up with a solution of such genius that I can hardly bring myself to share it with you, in case it blows your minds. So I'll whisper it very quietly. We are going to use some of the grant money to employ someone to read the handbook FOR US. Do you see where this is going? The university will be paying someone to read its own policies!

I'm sure if we set it up right, we could use it as the basis of some sort of perpetual motion machine.