Geekman is being interviewed about his research tomorrow by a journalist. She says she is especially interested in its relevance to the everyday person, for example, the sorts of technologies that could come out of it. Given that what he does has absolutely no practical implications that could interest the average consumer*, he is a little concerned about what he's going to tell her.
So I thought that maybe you could all give him some suggestions. Believe me, knowing the area he works in will not help you come up with something, so you might as well let your imagination run totally wild.
If he doesn't get any better ideas, he is planning to tell her that with the results of his research we will be able to build a death star.
__________
* apart from the stuff they always write on grant applications that no one really believes in.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Geekman builds his own galactic empire
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I'm sure it has "serious implications to global warming" and "a far reaching impact on our understanding to the human mind."
It "may change the way scientists approach the structure of basic research in the future."
Robots. Artificial intelligence. And online dating.
I'm opening up physics careers to those who are weak in mathematics.
(hey, it's even true, isn't it?)
It will allow us to obviate the need for gasoline, thus reducing our dependence on oil. We will be able to create cars that run on table scraps and spoiled milk.
We are also working to harness cockatoo power to allow us to create an energy system that will change the way people see energy. And systems. And cockatoos.
Our research will allow us to create a robot JK Rowling which can continue writing books, and which promises to bring back Dumbledore and make Snape good. And will make sure Hermoine becomes to true focus of the series, cuz everyone knows she is the smartest and most talented of the young wizards, and Harry'd be nothing without her.
Our research will allow us to decimate both Bushand Cheney at the same time, thus making Nancy Pelosi president of the US.
We have managed to bend space so that the internal dimensions of any given object can be manipulated to whatever size is required. There are a few problems to iron out, but eventually we hope to apply this technology to building matchbox-sized housing for overpopulated low-income areas. The interiors of these houses will, of course, be as spacious as the occupants desire.
(The problems occur when everybody steps outside at the same time in an area of particularly dense housing.)
geekman's research promotes connections between individuals on a human level,making it a valuable tool for conflict resolution. It could easily end the war in Iraq and, given time, usher in an era of total world peace.
These are all excellent suggestions, and I will probably use some of them. I might also play the terrorism angle.
When we blow up the planet...
"Our current focus is on the secondary effects of washing machines. Specifically, how to harness the tremendous power unleashed by a 15 year old Fisher & Price (tm) to
a) Increase the spin of the world, to ensure sun-bathers don't/can't spend more than 2 hours in the sun
b) Prevent politicans forgetting things (this may require a dual system of two of the beggars)
c) World peace.
Talk to me! (You know you want to!)