Things not to say in an email if you want me to keep respecting you:
"You'd think it would be kind of nice to have someone new in the department who works on a similar topic to me. I mean, I'd be able to talk to him about the project. But the problem is, he's a bit weird. Like, he's from Pakistan. So, kind of Al Qaeda."
"Sounds like you're pretty busy with all your teaching. As for me, I've got three weeks holiday coming up. Do you want to go to Trinidad? I was thinking the first week of August."
"What? Your mother is still sick? You mean that cancer thing? That was so long ago---what, April, right?---I thought she'd be all better by now."
Yes, these are all from the same short email.