Saturday, July 14, 2007

My mother doesn't understand biology, and incidentally, here's why I haven't blogged much this week

"Hi Mum. I'm sorry, I won't be able to talk for long because I have this wicked case of the flu and being out of bed for more than five minutes makes me cry."

"What are your symptoms?"

"It's just the usual flu symptoms. Aches, fever, chills, sore throat, eyeballs feeling like someone boiled them..."

"Are you sure you haven't got... what is it? What is that thing I worry about?"

"Meningitis. No, I haven't got meningitis. It's just the flu."

"Do you have a rash? Stiff neck?"

"I don't have meningitis. I know it's the flu because Geekman has just had it. He was sick for a week and then he got better. Also, his whole department has had it."

"Well, be careful. I've heard that germs can mutate. You might have started with the flu, but it could have mutated into meningitis."

"No, Mum, it couldn't have. That's not how it works."

"Why do you always act like you know everything? It's not attractive, you know."

I guess it's a good thing I already snared a man, then. I wonder if Geekman knows that intelligence isn't attractive, or if he just overlooked it in favour of my other qualities?


Jana said...

I think it must have been your - alas, no longer - long hair. :-D

StyleyGeek said...

Either the flu's still got my brain, or that sentence really was very confusing. I puzzled over the "longer long" juxtaposition for quite a while. Then I read the sentence backwards, and then forwards again, and then it all made sense.

geekman said...

As a man, I couldn't possibly love you for you mind. Consequently it must be your other attributes that appeal to me.

Acre said...

My mother is also convinced that having an opinion or idea or understanding of fact that differs from hers means I think I know everything. Apparently "Thinks She Knows Everything" is a chip they install when you start graduate school. Who knew they were throwing that in free with tuition!

EA said...

Did you mention to her that projecting mother syndrome is not attractive either??? You're being in the know, points out that she's not... now who is it that needs to know everything????

wwwmama said...

Ha Ha. This post is so funny.