Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Giant sentient ant nearly costs StyleyGeek her sanity

See this? See it? This freakily large insectoid is what, in this country, passes for an ant.

See it being bigger than StyleyGeek's finger. Now spend a moment imagining what an ant of that size could get up to in its spare time.

Given what short work your average-sized ants can make of a picnic, I'd say it's no exaggeration to fear that this one could get together with his mates and carry off everything in your house.

As this thing poses such real and present danger to our hearth and homes, I just knew the minute I spotted the Creature above my front door early this evening that it was my sacred duty to bring evidence of the Great Australian Ant Mutation to the attention of the internet.

Selflessly risking life and limb, I rushed inside, carefully stowed my shoes and bag (and keys) in the Careful Stowage of Shoes & Bag Place, and ducked back out the door to procure photographic evidence of this anomaly.

I am convinced that it was use of Evil Ant Mind Control powers that caused me not to notice the door swinging shut behind me.

Locked out.



Carrying nothing but a camera and a dining room chair (for standing on to photograph the ant).

There were, however, a few happy coincidences that meant this evening wasn't as big a disaster as it could have been:

  • Geekman was due back from New Zealand tonight, along with his set of keys to the appartment.
  • He was arriving back at the bus-station, which is walkable from our appartment, not at the airport, which definitely is not (although half an hour's walk at night barefoot through this city is not something I can recommend all that highly).
  • It is still early enough in the year that spending three hours outside in a t-shirt and without shoes, while unpleasant, is not likely to kill a person.
And I have learned some useful lessons, which I might even manage to implement before tonight fades from my memory entirely:
  • Make a spare key to the appartment and leave it with friends
  • Leave a little cash, a warm pullover and some socks in the car (which is easily break-into-able in an emergency).
  • Memorise the phone number of at least one friend so that you can call someone to come rescue you.
And most important of all: ignore the siren song of giant sentient ants.