Sunday, May 27, 2007

I knew this visit was missing something

The where-are-my-grandchildren drive by:

"Did you know that [friend] is having trouble conceiving? She's worried she left it too late. Let that be a warning to you."

"Mum! I'm only 27! And I'm not even sure I want kids."

"That's what SHE said. And then she did want them after all, but it was Too Late."

***

Other things you should not say to your daughter no matter how close your relationship is:

"Have you finished your thesis yet? How many words have you written today? Isn't it taking an awfully long time? I wrote my last essay for [bible school by correspondence] in one afternoon."

"Since we have so many chickens that need eating, I've invited all my friends over for dinner. They'll be here in half an hour. So you just need to whip up some side dishes and dessert for eight."

"Sometimes I worry that I will never have sex again. I mean, my vibrator is fun and all, but it's just not the same."

16 Comments:

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

to the vibrator comment, the old woman voice in my head just said, "Oh My".

I am thanking God for my Sister-in law -- as my Mother in Law has the potential to be very much like my mum, and she's closer to the SIL than she'll be to hubby or myself.

sheepish said...

Ack! Did you run screaming from the room with your hands over your ears?

EA said...

Oh my. How ARE your ears? Do they STILL burn?

phishez_rule said...

My mum once told me how she lost her panties. My life was better before that.

shrinkykitten said...

Over xmas, my mom started to tell me about a dream (she had said she'd had a disturbing dream about my father, and I mistakenly asked what it was about) in which my mom wanted to have sex, but my dad didn't. She then went on to talk about how it was always reversed .... at which point I clapped my hands over my ears and started singing. She said, "Well, *you* asked!"

And making dinner for 8 in 30 minutes? That's crazy! Did you do it? Does she not see the value in keeping those chickens? I mean, to some extent I imagine it was good for her to have those friends over - but *they* could bring side dishes and desserts!

I've started telling my mom that if she wants a grandchild, she should go find one.

And I think it is totally reasonable to expect you to get your whole thesis doen in an afternoon. What were you thinking?

Geekman said...

I just don't talk to my parents. Or Styley's parents, either, come to that. It makes life much easier.

Propter Doc said...

ewww. just ewwww.

clkl said...

Well, now I guess the experience is.. um.. complete. Oy.

StyleyGeek said...

Oh yeah, Geekman? Your parents emailed to say that even though they are currently in Russia, they are still checking their mail daily, so you should feel free to email :)

Sheepish and EA: Half way through that comment, I started going "la la la la la la" in my head, but it didn't help. The ears, they burns.

And Shrinky, kind of. I cooked some vegetables, but since all Mum's friends are on a diet, I figured they could skip dessert. And as for seeing value in keeping the chickens, we have little arguments about things like that. Every time someone brings food over to save me from cooking, she either stashes it in the freezer for after I'm gone, or finds a way to use it up faster, which kind of defeats the purpose.

I love your grandchild reply, by the way! Might have to use that...

Kisha said...

LOL! The bible school essay comment is hilarious! Oh my!

liz said...

Yagh.

Anonymous said...

There are advantages to having parents who have done PhDs. You definitely don't get the "Why haven't you finished yet?" tirade. Though you do get stories about how their big investment while at Uni was an HP calculator, how if you got your punch cards out of order, the calculations you dropped off that day would be screwed when you went to pick them up the next day, and how many gallons of whiteout were used by Mum typing up Dad's thesis such that they just hired someone to type up hers...

No pressure childwise from my parents or Weekend_Viking's parents (his siblings are popping sprogs out to distract at a reasonable rate). When asked by her mother-in-law when she is going to get pregnant, my sister just comments not now but that they are practicing lots...

Stellar_muddle

Badaunt said...

Bible college and vibrators turning up in one post AND ABOUT THE SAME PERSON? That was disturbing, and made my head spin.

Please tell me you have two mothers, one who studies the bible and another who thinks vibrators are fun.

RageyOne said...

eek! to that last comment.

ZaPaper said...

OMG, I am 31, and hearing about things like the first item freak me out even 2nd (3rd?) hand. Still (at least) a year from PhD completion, I am not sure which would be worse, finding out that it was Too Late to conceive, or finding out that I had accidentally done so. Contradictory though it be, I worry about both, sometimes simultaneously!

StyleyGeek said...

Please tell me you have two mothers, one who studies the bible and another who thinks vibrators are fun.

Thankfully my mother adheres to a branch of Christianity that thinks it's okay to have sex. Even with oneself.