Tuesday, May 29, 2007

One day I'll find something else to complain about besides my mother

(But not today.)

An excerpt from my email exchange today with Geekman:

Me:

> > I watched Stargate Atlantis tonight. It's not the same watching it without you, though. And it's extremely irritating having someone sitting there going, "Oh! Oh! A big blue thing! What's the big blue thing? Are they in Outer Space? What a silly program! Why are they going in the spaceship?"

Geekman:

> You do that so well :) You could always have fun making up answers. You could go on about how it's a postmodern allegory of the eviction from Eden. Or something. Pretend you're James Joyce. Or you could go for the irritating answer and say something like "You won't understand. It's too modern and you're too old."

*****

In other news, I cooked some pumpkin soup today (at my mother's request). As I was halfway through making it, she entered the room.

"What's that?"

"Pumpkin soup. Remember? You said you'd like me to use up the pumpkin in the cupboard by making soup."

"It looks funny. Would you like a recipe for it?"

"I'm just making it the way I usually do."

"Does it have chicken stock in it? My recipe has chicken stock."

"Yes, this one does too, Mum. The only thing that might be different is that I'm putting a little bit of curry powder in it. It won't be hot; it will just bring out the flavour a bit."

"I don't think curry powder goes in pumpkin soup. My recipe doesn't have it. I think you'd like my recipe. It's spicy too, you know. It has garlic in it."

When the soup was done, my mother tasted it, pronounced it unbearably hot*, and spent the rest of the day telling her friends the hilarious story of how I "screwed up the recipe" and made "completely inedible" soup.


No jury would convict, right?

_________

* I know, her attitude to garlic should have warned me.

12 Comments:

EA said...

NOT a single one...actually, let me defend you...I'll be like that Dick Van Dyke lawyer and actually show how it was all HER fault... >:)
PS Photo below is just beautiful.

liina said...

My mother is not ill, but she's living with us - I feel your pain :)

Twirly said...

at least you'll have something to eat besides chicken!

Miss M. said...

Look at it this way - now you have a whole heap of yummy soup that she's not going to touch. If she asks where her food is you can either say it's her fault for not liking spices, or that since she evidentally thinks everyone else stuffs up such things she should demonstrate the proper way of cooking.

Jana said...

No, no jury would convict. I'm only a bush lawyer, but I'm pretty sure.

shrinkykitten said...

NO JURY ON EARTH WOULD CONVICT!!!

Honestly, I hate it when people are picky eaters when I have made something for them. Whatever happened to politely eating something despite the fact that you don't like it and acting like you do? I seriously think that refusing to eat something, or complaining about someone else's cooking are among the rudest behaviors there are. Plus, it hurts my feelings a lot! My mom constantly refused to even try things I make - and it really hurts my feelings (stereotypically, I put a lot of time and caring into what I cook, and it feels like a personal rejection - I do in fact equate food with caring).

And I think it is just rude to then trash you to her friends. I would be tempted to interpret that as her needing to feel better about herself at your expense.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Why is this reminding me of when my former roommate came to visit, and she was all grossed out by my lovely cream of broccoli soup (seriously, the best batch I've ever made), because it wasn't like the kind of cream of broccoli soup you get out of a can? "Cream of broccoli soup is supposed to be white and have pieces of broccoli floating in it," said she. Also, "I don't eat lumpy soup." (Her husband, on the other hand, loved it.)

She also turned down homemade bread, citing that she only eats white WonderBread.

Seriously: no jury on earth would convict.

liz said...

Holy guacamole.

From now on, whether you add it or not, tell your mom you've put curry in everything you make.

shrinkykitten said...

mmmm.... guacamole!

phishez_rule said...

Convict? Hell no! They'd CONGRATULATE.

But you got your own back. You're telling more people than she ever will. Mind you, she'll never have to see any of us...

StyleyGeek said...

EA: thanks!

Liina: I really hope that the word "temporarily" was meant to be in your comment but got elided. Because only a saint could endure a permanent live-in mother!

Twirly and Miss M: exactly! The last 24 hours, she's been eating chicken, and I've been eating soup. It's actually a good solution.

Shrinky: you are such a shrinky shrink :) stereotypically, I put a lot of time and caring into what I cook, and it feels like a personal rejection - I do in fact equate food with caring. That is EXACTLY what my problem is.

Phishez_rule: true. And I think that my mother making this into a "funny" story to tell her friends is really no different from me framing all the irritating stuff she does as funny stories for the blog. The only thing that's rude about it is that I get to overhear her talking about me. At least if she ever did discover this blog, we'd be even. But somehow I don't think she'd see it that way!

shrinkykitten said...

Okay - except that the huge difference between what you and your mother are doing (besides the fact that she is doing it in front of you) is that you are there to be helpful to her - to take care of her, and she needs you to do so. Yet, she is complaining about you to you and to others despite the fact that you are taking time away from other things that are important, are there at personal financial expense, are away from your partner, etc. This is again why no jury would convict you!