Not the most embarrassing underpant story after all, I guess*

I just read something on someone else's blog that left me with an overwhelming urge to tell the whole internet** about my underpants. Why? Because I'm drunk, that's why.

So anyway. I'm going to tell you (that's all of you, including my ex-student who reads here—Hi! Just deal!) about my most embarrassing underpant moment.

January.

I was in New Zealand, staying for a couple of days in a tiny, very pretty town in the middle of nowhere, known only for its thermal pools. Because no one in my family has any money, we were doing the trip marae-style: Geekman and I, my mother, my mother-in-law, father-in-law and brother-in-law all sleeping on mattresses on the floor of the local church hall. (I don't think that's relevant. But it adds atmosphere.)

So the first morning we are there, my mother, Geekman and I are getting ready to go to the thermal pools. The in-laws have decided instead to go on a healthy walk in the bush, as you do when you are healthy, energetic Swedes. Soaking in warm water all day is for the Lower Races, like the French or Germans or something. (I don't think that's relevant either. But I am drunk. I have excuse. )

The point is, as we are all standing in the church hall getting our shit together, in-laws and all, my mother says in front of everyone, loudly, "StyleyGeek, are you going to get changed at the pools?"
"No," I reply, "I have my togs on under my clothes. I'll just strip off."
"So you are taking your underwear in your bag?"
I look shifty. All I am carrying is a towel. "No."
"So, you are wearing your underwear over your togs?"
"No."
"Does Geekman have your underwear in his bag?"
"No." Exuding please stop asking now vibes at this point.
"Surely you aren't planning to put your wet togs back on under your clothes when you leave? You'll catch cold!"
"No."
"You aren't going to walk back here afterwards just in your togs and towel, are you?"
By now EVERYONE is extremely interested in this conversation.
"No!"
"Well, I don't understand," says my mother, perplexed. "What are you going to do about your underwear?"

Finally I give in to Fate and admit through gritted teeth to my entire extended family, "I'm. not. going. to. wear. any."

And I never heard the last of it. (My favourite comment was from my mother-in-law: "Can one actually do that?")

The End.


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* Please to share a better one in the comments.

** Firefox's spell check tells me that "blog" and "internet" are words that don't exist. Oh, the irony.