Saturday, August 18, 2007

Things my hairdresser said today that made me want to bite her

  • "Have you just had a baby, darling? [What, right now? Let me check. I think I would have noticed.] Or are you going to have one? Because your hair is very strange. Often hormones do that."
  • "When did you last wash your hair, darling? This morning? Because feel this.... Does that feel clean to you? No, me neither."
  • "Do you ever tease your hair on top? Well you should. Because with larger ears like yours, darling, it looks funny if it is wider at the sides than on top. I guess that's partly your glasses, too. It's funny how they stick out from the sides of your head so much. Most people's glasses sit much closer in."
  • "See this protein spray that I'm using on your hair now?* You really need to buy some of this. It's quite expensive, but with your hair... It looks awful if you don't smooth it down with a product like this one."

And the final Conversation of Doom

"Now, let me just blow dry your hair."

"Um, don't you guys charge lots extra for blow drying?"

They are a cut-price salon ($20 cut) and they make their money by up-selling to blow-drys ($10 extra) and shampooing ($25 extra). I figure I only come out ahead if I don't request any extras. Usually this is not a problem; I have never had an aggressive hairdresser before.

"It's only $10."

"I don't blow dry it at home, anyway. My hair goes fluffy if I use a dryer. I'll just let it dry naturally."

"Well, darling, I'm sorry, but I can't let you just walk out of here like that. It looks awful. And I can't tell whether I have cut it evenly or not unless I dry it."

"Every other time I've been here I've left with damp hair. It's fine."

"Your hair, darling, is so fine that it will look uneven until I dry it. And I just can't tell if it is finished until it is dry. What do you have against drying it, anyway?"

"My hair gets fluffy and damaged if I dry it too often." This is true. I never blow-dry it at home.

"Well just this once you are going to have to trust me."

I was so ready to just storm out and complain to the manager that the hairdresser was acting like my mother, but I am a wimp, so I let her dry it. Then:

"Oh dear! Darling! Your hair is horribly fluffy and dry. You see now why you need to buy this protein spray? Look how it smooths it all down."

Yes, it solves a problem that she created in the first place. Grrr! (And no, I didn't buy the product.)


* What is with putting protein in hair products? Hair is dead. Protein is not going to help.


hypoglycemiagirl said...

I'd like to say I would've killed her! In reality though, I would just bite my tongue and let her do her thing. I have long hair and when I go to weddings I usually go to the hairdresser to get a fancy hairdo. Once my hairdresser was a woman I had never met before and she kept complaining that I hadn't coloured my hair in a while so the roots looked different than the rest. It made her job so much more difficult. (Well it's your job so do it!) She also kept on talking to one of the other hairdresser about how fantastic hair her previous customer had. I felt like a complete idiot and should have told her to shut the fuck up; but as usually I did just that myself.

wolfa said...

I cannot explain it, but things like that do work -- they smooth out the cuticle, I think? It's obviously a temporary fix, but it's a nice one. (Not that you should have bought it, just that it does actually work. I have no comment about what ingredient makes it work.)

20 for a cut, but 25 for a shampoo? Do they give really good head massages with the shampoo?

Geeka said...

I rarely get my hair done because I hate people touching my head. Just one of those things, ya know?

Anyhow, I have decided that men cut women's hair much better, because they don't have the internal commentary about your hair. (that is, they don't have the cattiness).

I can deal with the guys.

grace said...

You have beautiful hair, Styley! Take no notice of hair-stylist crazy-talk!

And BTW I have found cheapo supermarket hair products as good or better for my hair than premium salon stuff.

StyleyGeek said...

I know the products work, Wolfa. But it irritates me that they market them as "protein to nourish your hair", when actually they are "gooey stuff to stick the stray bits of hair to the rest". They work like glue, not like food.

wwwmama said...

I hate pushy people too but I'm a wimp when it comes to sticking up for myself. I always find myself apologizing for having waited six months or longer to get a trim. So silly. My old haidresser kept trying to get me to do highlights but I couldn't bear the idea of upkeep. She kept at me, though, until finally she said she'd do it for free just because she wanted to see what it would look like. I let her do it, but I'm sure she was disappointed when I didn't come back for more!

Anonymous said...

wow, i also would have killed her!

and yah, i SO agree about the protien stuff. just like those pantene commercials. hair is dead, people!!

phishez_rule said...

Tactless wench. She talks to people all day long, you think she'd have figured out tact. And she was pushy too! By that time I wouldn't have even bothered being polite. I guess you're a more patient and tolerant person than I am. *sigh*

I had a haircut on Friday. Didn't get any of that crap.

The Editter said...

I totally imagined the hairdresser as a gay man till the end. (Although the "her" in the title should've alerted me earlier!)

liina said...

Haven't been to a hairdresser for 4 months now... I usually end up having the exact conversation about blowdrying...

SpicyCat said...

last time i was at my hairdressers she sparayed this really lovely smelling stuff on to my hair. So out of interest I picked up the bottle, but I am sorry as a Scientist I cannot bring myself to buy something that lists as an ingredient 'pure living water'.

As a scientist i am very scared, when did water develop a heart and a brain and become alive