Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Things you don't get to do

If your husband promised to referee a paper for a proceedings volume six months ago, and has ignored subsequent email reminders and in-person requests to hurry the fuck up, you do not get to complain to me that this volume is taking a "ridiculously" long amount of time in the making.

If you are not a woman yourself, you do not get to pull up your car next to a woman walking alone in the dark and then yell at her for not being "friendly" enough to come over and see if you needed directions.

If you did not read the syllabus or attend any of the seven lectures or three tutorials I have held so far, you do not get to complain that I didn't tell you there was a quiz today.

What other things, in your opinion, do people not get to do?


Anonymous said...

if your children have yelled at a younger child no less than three times in the last ten minutes prompting the younger child to cry, you do not get to sit their reading a book, pretending like nothing is happening.

Also, if you are responsible for a child who is running back and forth between random strangers and shouting "I HATE YOU!", you do not get to sit there and do nothing but smile at me as if to say "isn't that sweet." That is not sweet. It's nasty.

I may think of more later.

Vinny said...

You don't get to tell me about all the great things your child can do, while the little sh*t is tearing apart my house and breaking my child's toys.

Anonymous said...

there! there! not their! GAH!

Vinny said...

You don't get to split the bill down the middle when you and your partner ordered a $40 bottle of wine, and we didn't drink any of it.

Ooo. I like this.

Flavia said...

If, when you're mad/upset about something your partner/ex-partner has done, you break your promise to call her on a certain date to talk about the relationship--and indeed avoid HER phone calls--because you've decided "to work through this on [your] own," you DO NOT GET TO say, on your internet dating service profile, that "good communication is essential" in a future partner of yours.

Relatedly: if you tell your ex-partner that you are sincerly considering getting back together with her, but need some time, you do not get to put a profile up on an internet dating service.

StyleyGeek said...

Ouch! Flavia, you are winning so far. If this were a competition. Which, of course, it isn't. Even though we all sound bitter and angry enough to totally ace such a competition, should one exist.

caterpillarwoman said...

You don't get to cheat on me and then say you didn't break it to me earlier because then I wouldn't continue working with you any more.

Here's another one. You don't get to take my idea, give it to your other research student because I'm about to graduate, and then cut me off because you want to 'support your own students'

I'm on a roll here - you don't get to abruptly stop talking to me, bang doors shut when I walk by, and when taxed on the matter, say - yes, you are unhappy with me - but you cannot tell me why.

Geeka said...

if you have been repeatedly told that we are going to start something at 9am, and you show up at 9:45, you do not get to be snarky and ask why I didn't wait for you.

if you are not in the building, and I have not seen you, you do not get to do something to piss me off (because then I can't yell at you while I am still mad).

If you used the last of something and didn't order more, you can't complain about me not aliquoting it.

If you have time management problems, you do not get to complain about how I never give you a chance to do things.

I could go on all day, but then I wouldn't get any work done.

New Kid on the Hallway said...

If out of the blue you say to me, "Did you find out when we have to drop off the stuff?", when we're in the midst of a move and hence, our lives are full of stuff to be dropped off various places, you don't get to be mad at me for not paying attention when I don't have ANY idea what you're talking about.

If you don't like cat photos, and have the use of all your typing fingers, you don't get to slam me for posting cat photos on my blog. (Sorry, stuck in this morning's conversation!)

Ooh, ooh, here's one: if you don't lift a finger to "mentor" me and find out what's going on with my research/teaching/etc., you don't get to complain that you don't know me and don't feel I'm committed to the department.

Ianqui said...

I'm going to think about this, and then I'm hopefully going to vent all of my frustration on your website.

Just kidding. But people are coming up with some very good ones here.

Anonymous said...

you don't get to make snarky assumptions about someone's disability loudly on the bus because they "got to" wait in line less than you and "you are being discriminated against" because they "look normal".

a Shi said...

If you damage your boss in an unwork related activity, you don't get to complain to your workmates that you have too much to do when you have to cover your bosses workload as well as your own.

USJogger said...

(Posted on behalf of Mrs. Jogger) If you set up a subcommittee to organize a fundraising event, and you are too busy to be on the subcommittee, you do not get to complain that it wasn't organized the way that you wanted it to be.

fitness said...

Anastasia has got a point there what can you do when your child shouts at a younger one

Teknight said...

If you tell a colleague how to do a very very simple task three times (using a different method each way, no less) you don't get to be surprised at the spontaneous eruption of Tourette's. Especially when you then do it yourself a 4rth way