Friday, April 20, 2007

Someone is having a really bad day

(With bonus points for most surreal development of a conversation I've heard in a long time.)

I overheard the following today in the photocopying room.

Necessary background: older faculty member (OFM) was collecting his print-out that had as a heading the word "sex" in large letters. (You can get away with a lot in linguistics). A friend of mine, who has a serious case of "speaks before she thinks" (SBST) was picking up some photocopying.

SBST: "Hi, OFM, how are you?"

OFM: "Terrible, thanks for asking."

SBST: "Why, what's happened?"

OFM: "Well I just got sacked, for one thing."

SBST: "Really?!? I'm so sorry."

[I'll leave out the bit where she asks for, and he gives, details]

SBST: "At least you can now go live with your [long-distance] wife!"

OFM: "Actually she recently left me."

SBST: "Oh my god. I'm so, so sorry."

[Awkward silence]

SBST, pointing to the paper OFM was holding: "Well, you could always go have sex! That would cheer you up!" (No, I don't know what she was thinking, either.)

OFM: "No, I can't do that anymore either. I've had an operation."

13 Comments:

Ianqui said...

Damn. Not only does your friend have SBST syndrome, but the prof has TMI syndrome. Who needed to know the last bit? He could've just smiled uncomfortably and conveniently left the room.

wolfa said...

Really, only the last comment seemed like thinking before speaking -- earlier comments were just Awkward Segueing. (Just search -- there are a few examples. 22 minutes makes me laugh.)

Anastasia said...

awesome.

StyleyGeek said...

Ianqui: I know. That was the worst bit. I'll always be wondering about that operation now...

Wolfa: I agree that only the last comment was SBST-ish. I just made that her pseudonym because she's been known to do it before.

wolfa said...

If it helps, I keep thinking he's been neutered.

StyleyGeek said...

That keeps going through my mind too. But even if it was, that wouldn't actually prevent him having sex, would it? I mean, there isn't all that much that could stop you from—no, I'm just not going there.

Anonymous said...

I suspect he had his prostate removed. It's a reasonably common operation for older men and one not so rare side effect is damage to the nerve that is essential for men to get erections. I wish I knew a better way to phrase that, sorry.

StyleyGeek said...

Thanks for satisfying my curiosity, Anonymous. Poor guy. Maybe I should sign him up to some of those nice mailing lists that send you emails offering cut-price viagra. (Although maybe that doesn't work if the essential nerve is damaged...)

Bardiac said...

Wow, some conversation.

I was guessing prostate, too. And my understanding is that if the nerve is damaged, viagra and stuff don't help. That must be really frustrating. Poor guy :(

StyleyGeek said...

Yeah, frustrating enough that you start to tell random colleagues about it!

Cee said...

*wipes away tears of laughter* Dear god. You're killing me. However did you keep a straight face there in the background?

StyleyGeek said...

I found it difficult. But I also felt sorry for him. But then it was just so surreal.

Badaunt said...

Are you SURE he wasn't making it all up?