I've worked three 12 hour days this week. I don't think I want to do that again any time soon.
Courtesy of those three 12 hour days I just finished my first ever! real! live! paper! And the more I look at it, the more I am convinced that it isn't a piece of shit. (That's my very special way of telling it I'm proud of it.)
I had a chocolate chip biscuit for dinner. But it's okay, because it was quite big.
My biscuit broke our department microwave, but no one saw it, so shhh! Don't tell anyone.
If you were on campus tonight and saw someone on a bicycle happily shouting "Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!" to the world at large, that might have been me. I said it once involuntarily, and then it felt so good I had to do it again and again on a louder volume. Do you think that's how Tourette Syndrome begins?
Now I have a word or two to say to cars. "Cars," I say, "Fuck off."* If they need more clarification, I say, "When cars have right of way at a crossing, I take that into account by slowing down as I approach on my bicycle. If you keep going, you will be gone by the time I arrive and everyone will be happy. If you slow down, stop and wave me past, there's a moment of confusion and I have to stop my bicycle and then start again. You might forget this, because you are a car with petrol and an engine and all, but it's not easy to stop and start on a bicycle at every damn road you come to." That's what I'd say to cars.
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* This post is getting R18-er by the paragraph.
4 Comments:
You know, in my head I know that biscuit means cookie, but it still threw me when I read "chocolate chip biscuit."
You're lucky: I nearly wrote "chocolate chip bickie" but had issues with the spelling. (Bicky? bikkie? bikky? bickie?)
12 As far as the 12-hour days go -- do you actually enjoy doing your PhD? I've been wondering about this.
Because I've been giving the impression that I don't?
I have massively fallen out of love with my topic. I think it was a bad choice for all sorts of reasons, and I am also bored with it to the point that I don't even really enjoy thinking or reading about it any more.
Because of this, the last few months I've found it hard to get motivated. When I'm unmotivated, I procrastinate, and then I feel anxious and overwhelmed. And I don't enjoy that at all.
Everything else about it, I love. What everything else? I hear you ask.
I love finding out new things, even if they are about my topic rather than something more interesting.
I love hunting through the library (catalogues or in person) for relevant literature.
I love my office and that I get to structure how I spend my time.
I even love the writing process when it's going well (which is most of the time these last couple of weeks).
And I love (most of) the people I'm around every day. The faculty in our dept are mostly awesome, smart, supportive people and just chatting with them about linguistics is one of my favourite ways to pass some time.
Oh yeah, and the teaching. That has been one of my favourite parts of the whole deal. I can't really afford the time to do any more right now, but I loved it.
So yeah, I think I enjoy it. Ask me again in a couple of months and I might have a different answer, though...
Talk to me! (You know you want to!)