Every day for the past week I have made myself a toasted sandwich for lunch. In the toasted sandwich maker. In the tearoom opposite my office.
Every day I have returned to my office while the sandwich is cooking and done 10 minutes* more of work, email reading, etc. I have kept a close watch on the clock and not once forgotten about my sandwich.
And every day without fail, someone has felt it necessary to come to my office half way through to tell me that, um, they think maybe I have a sandwich in the toastie maker? And it's maybe, um, burning? No, really. It smells funny. Could I please come and check on it?
And I have followed them back to the tearoom, opened the toastie maker to show everyone how it ISN'T COOKED YET BECAUSE IT NEEDS TEN MINUTES and doesn't look or smell even a little bit burned, and then gone back to my office to NOT be able to work for the next three minutes because I am worried that people are standing around my sandwich and tutting at my carelessness and maybe sabotaging my lunch.
And every day I have ended up going back to rescue the sandwich from well-meaning busybodies, and eating it before it is perfectly cooked.
(Hey, if I'm going to get obsessed by trivial irritations, they might as well involve cheese.)
__________
* It's an old sandwich maker and not exactly fast.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
I hate people (except for you)
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8 Comments:
I am not so fond of toasted sandwiches in particular but I ask myself often if my sandwich is done to a crisp.
You see i am a sandwichman -with past and future and me tucked in between. Salad and slices of bacon that go in, on daily basis make me walk the length and breadth of my part of the world. It goes only in terms of calorific intake but I ask myself just the same, 'did I pass the time well?'
benny
I have been to NZ around BOP- in fact one of the houses at Papomoa beach has been designed by me.
b.
Hi Benny. Which house? (My grandparents live at Papamoa Beach, so I'll have to take a look next time I'm there).
I think you should put some sort of slogan on a t shirt - but am too tired to think of anything clever.
All irritations are better with cheese. Yum.
It squishes the sandwich between heating things that toast it on both sides, wolfa. I would call it a jaffle iron (I guess it's like a waffle iron, but without the waffle pattern), though, to confuse you further.
Can you make a sign for it that says it's not burning and you will be back for it at the specific time, so people know not to bother you unless it's after that time?
Lucy, that is such a smart idea, and it never even occurred to me. Thanks!
And jaffle is a very silly word. We don't call them that in NZ, and it makes me laugh whenever I hear it.
We call them toastie pies, but I thought that might be confusing to my readers :)
Of course, if I ever DO forget it, I will look extra stupid!
They make the outside all crispy and hard, and whatever is inside goes all hot and melted and gooey. It's vaguely similar to what you get if you fry a sandwich.
Talk to me! (You know you want to!)