Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Questions that are going to keep me awake tonight

My ex-boyfriend, who lives on the other side of the country from my parents, has just emailed me to say that he was "sorry to hear about [insert gossip about unfortunate family events here]".

My parents left the town he lives in more than eight years ago and have almost no contact with anyone there anymore. His family and mine have no mutual friends.

So how does he know???

And why, considering he and I haven't corresponded in around seven years, does he feel that I need to know that he knows?

And one final question: how do I write a reply that ostensibly says "thank you for your concern", but that actually tells him to fuck off, not contact me again, especially not send my parents a similarly "concerned" email (if he hasn't already), and subtly demands the name(s) of whoever has been spreading rumours?

(I realise that asking him to name names and simultaneously not contact me again is like telling someone to shut up and start talking, but dammit, there are times when I think I should get a free pass to be difficult and illogical, and this is one of them.)


Alan McDonald said...

He totally wants to hook up with you again. Don't send any response. Your silence will say much more.

grace said...

He could be well-intentioned, who knows? But if you don't want to be in contact with him, you could add his address to your blocked list and just totally ignore him. Trying to stop gossip and rumour is a big ask. My suggestion would be to grit your teeth and try to rise above it.

StyleyGeek said...

I don't _think_ he wants to hook up with me again, Alan. He knows I'm married. But I never really understood how he thinks, so who knows?

Grace, you are probably right. Certainly very reasonable. But I want to know who told him. Mostly out of plain curiosity (because I can't think who it could possibly be) more than thinking that I can actually stop the rumours. The only thing I would like to prevent is him sending a "well-meaning" email to my folks, since they really don't need to know that people on the other side of the country have been gossiping about them.