Tuesday, August 08, 2006

It seems that I'm a fake

In light of some recent discussion in our little corner of the blogosphere (that I'm too lazy to hunt down links to) about the nature of words like "intellectual" and "academic" and how we describe ourselves to other people, I submit, for your interest and amusement, this brief conversation from yesterday.

"Good morning StyleyGeek."
"Morning." I hurry past, not wanting to get stuck in conversation with this person whose head is so far up his own arse that he has a permanent crick in the neck.
"I hear we have a scholar in the department this week." The word is said in awestruck tones.
"Huh?" (Don't we have around 20 scholars in the department all day every day?)
"You know, our visitor."
"Oh, you must mean X, our visiting speaker for tomorrow's seminar."
"That's right. From Harvard, I hear."
"Well, it's nice to have a real scholar around the place for a change."

And with that, and a final throat clearing, he disappears into his office.


Morton T Fogg said...

StyleyGeek, I'm afraid your right to hold and run the Graduate Carnival has hereby been rescinded. Word in the blogosphere is that you're a fraud. A trickster, pretending to be an academic just for all the perks (jewelry, high pay, travel to exotic locales, wine and song) that come with the job!

You should be ashamed.

shrinkykitten said...

Well, I would put forth that there are two scholars: the visiting one and scarylecturer. The rest of youse are just wannabes :)

Weekend_Viking said...

Go to a supermarket. Buy a fresh fish, and a mesh bag of some sort (one that fits the fish quite well.) Not too big, a fish about eigth to twelve inches long. Some people line the bottom of the bag with half a plastic bag, to catch fluids.

Gain access to his office when he's not about. Remove the drawers of his desk, nail the fish in it's bag up inside the back of the desk where it's most difficult to find. Replace drawers. Wait for the smell to drive him nuts.

StyleyGeek said...

He's already nuts, WV. That's the problem :)

jo(e) said...

How ever did you resist the urge to slap him?

Matthew said...

Generally in life, we're all faking it. People who are not trying to be somebody other than who they are lack aspiration.