When you have two hours between a class that finishes at 5 pm and a choir practice that starts at 7 pm and you really need food, but don't have any on you.
So you join your friends who are going to the pub, and start looking forward to a nice hot pub meal, but when you get there, you find they don't start doing dinner until 6 pm and you are starving now.
So you survive until 6 pm on a large beer, which you are sipping very slowly to make it last, and when the clock hits six you go to the bar and order a meal.
And get IDed. (For ordering soup.)
And you hunt through your wallet, but all you have on you is an expired New Zealand driver's licence.*
You go back to your friends outside, and one of them reminds you that you dropped your university ID card loose into your bag on the way out of the office. So you return to the counter, but they won't accept a uni ID even though it has your photo and birthdate on it, and even though it agrees with your expired licence that you are nearly a decade older than the legal drinking age.
So you go back outside to finish your beer, soupless and hungry. Your friends look shocked and are considering walking out in protest.
"It's okay," you tell them. "They were nice about it. And kind of embarrassed. As long as I don't order anything else, I don't exactly think they are going to follow me outside and tell me to leave the premises."
And then you turn around. The barmaid has followed you outside and is telling you to leave the premises. She waits. Hands on hips.**
So you ask your friends to guard your drink and to order your food for you, while you rapidly cycle home, calculating that you can be back with your current driver's licence by 6:45, leaving just enough time to eat fast and get to choir.
[Cycle cycle cycle cycle cycle cycle cycle cycle cycle cycle]
You return to find your friends have staged a boycott of the bar in solidarity with you*** and buggered off home. Your soup is nowhere in sight (nor is the money you left with your friends to pay for it), your beer (which you had only drunk 1/4 of) has been taken away, and there's no one left to drink with anyway.
Suffice it to say that choir practice is not happening for me tonight. (I do, however, see chocolate in my future.)
* I keep my driver's licence in my car. Which was at home. I've never needed it (or considered that I might need it) for ID purposes before.
** They were nice about the whole thing at first, though. (Until I asked if I could finish my beer before leaving. Then they got snarky.) And I don't blame them for IDing me. People often think I am younger than I am (although they usually pick me as being over 18, at least!). And once they have IDed someone who can't produce ID, they obviously can't serve them anything. But I think it was a bit much to kick me out entirely. If they had been raided by the police, I can't imagine the police could prosecute them for having a 26 year old on the premises without ID. The police would never have been able to prove that the bar staff had IDed me, and the bar staff would have been within their rights to say that they hadn't needed to ask for ID because I looked to be in my mid twenties.
*** I'm guessing here. Or maybe they all got IDed too. (Though, I'd like to see them try and ID the elderly monk who was with us.)
Wednesday, August 30, 2006